I was invited to speak in front of a million people this past Thursday. Okay, so I exaggerate, it was only 60-65 people, but for me that's a lot of people! Most of the audience were doctors, nurses and medical students. The topic at hand was infant loss and I was on the parent panel. The conference was to bring more awareness to the medical staff and hopefully to lead towards change in how bereaved parents are taken care of, and communicated with by the medical staff.
I spoke about the medical care throughout my pregnancy, and also the day my daughter was born. I spoke about how, during labor and delivery, most of the staff were civil towards us, no one really knew how to be around us. I spoke about how alone we felt, and how we only had a very short time to create a lifetime of memories. I spoke about all the things I wish I had had the chance to do during that short time. I hope my words, and those of the other parents on the panel, will help make changes. Really, it only takes one person to listen, and for that person to make even the smallest change can make a world of difference for another parent.
And while I never claimed to be a public speaker, and goodness knows I spent the entire time shaking like a leaf, I am so glad I had this opportunity to speak and be my daughter's voice. To be the voice of all the bereaved parents who are in too much shock to speak for themselves.
And while I know nothing can change for me, I can only hope that my daughter's life will not be in vain.
About Me
- Ter
- I am a bereaved mother and wife. I began this blog to help me look for the "good things" in life after my daughter, "Babybear", died in July 2005. Three years later, her daddy, my husband, "Bear", died in November 2008. (You'll find a link to their stories on my blog) And now, as difficult as it is, I continue to look for the good things in my life as I learn my new normal with my pup, "Furrybear", at my side. And the angels on my shoulder...
Monday, September 22, 2008
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10 comments:
That is awesome, Ter!!! I hope that your story allows others to realize that when other people go through what you went through that it isn't just a baby, it is somebody's child and somebody's family
Terri,
I am very proud of you and so glad that others are able to share and make a difference. I hope that the staff that were there will take from your talk and teach themselves and others how to deal with things in those kind of situations.
Way to go! So proud of you for getting up there and doing this. And, I'm confident your little girl is even prouder. You are right - all is takes is one person to make a small change and it will ripple outward from there. :)
I am proud of you Ter. And I hope your talk had as much of an impact on the medical staff as it did on me! You eloquently and compassionately spoke of Tyla's birth and death and the lack of compassion you were given. The people there should be glad that they get to experience this tragedy through someone else's eyes and not through their own personal loss.
Big Hugs! Tyla is smiling down on her mommy and daddy :)
I'm so proud of you...I'm sure it was incredibly hard, but others will benefit from your bravery.
I really do believe that one of the reasons God allows bad things to happen to us is to strenthen and encourage others when they go through similar circumstances. By talking to those medical people you made a difference in the many families they will touch. What a champion!
I am sosproud of you my friend!!
How very brave you were to do that. I know it must be emotional to share your story with strangers. If it helps even one health care provider to treat someone in your situation better then it is all worth it.
Great job! Public speaking scares the crud out of me. I am proud of you.
"I spoke about how alone we felt, and how we only had a very short time to create a lifetime of memories."
~Ter~
Wow! What a statement! Honestly, words cannot express how impressed, and in admiration of you, I am. Public speaking is difficult and stressful for most of us--regardless of the topic. YOU not only spoke to a room full of people (I think 60-65 people is rather large). But you spoke about a very distressing topic and to do so, you shared your traumatic experience of losing your beloved daughter and all that led up to that day! WOW! WOW! WOW!
Thanks for gracing us with your presence, Ter!
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