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About Me

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I am a bereaved mother and wife. I began this blog to help me look for the "good things" in life after my daughter, "Babybear", died in July 2005. Three years later, her daddy, my husband, "Bear", died in November 2008. (You'll find a link to their stories on my blog) And now, as difficult as it is, I continue to look for the good things in my life as I learn my new normal with my pup, "Furrybear", at my side. And the angels on my shoulder...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Smart Habit Saturday - February

I appologize for my lack of blogs. My computer has been super slow lately. It is in dire need of upgraded memory. In addition to my slower than molasses computer, I've been dealing with issues in my life as I posted briefly about here.

Back to SHS, I am again failing miserably at all my habits that I've been trying to improve upon. I really do not know how I can change this.

I have tried, and failed, to put together a schedule or routine for housework and general things such as bedtime routine, etc. I am not good at making routines, but I need them. At work, I am very efficent BECAUSE I have a routine. At home, not-so-much.

It doesn't help that when something doesn't work, I obesess about it. For example the other day it took about 3 hours before I could read my email because of the computer issues. I sat here for that entire time trying to get it to work!

I have also been trying to change my habits with menu planning. Now the planning of menus is not THAT difficult but the problem lies in the fact that I am terrible at grocery shopping. I tend to forget to look to see what I need to buy, and I almost always forget the shopping list. Today, for example, I took the shopping list down from the bulletin board but I forgot to put it in my purse.

The other reason I'm terrible at grocery shopping is that I talk myself out of buying things I need because I can not bring myself to pay X amount of dollars for it, or I struggle with "do I really need this" even though more often than not I do. Today I did not buy any miracle whip even though it was on sale and we only have a little bit left. I could not bring myself to buy it because the "reduced calorie" one did not have a sale label next to it so I worried that it wouldn't be on sale, even though all the other versions of the same thing were.

When I go for groceries, I find myself in a daze and unable to focus or make decisions. It's really terrible. I then go home with only a few ingredients and nothing to eat!

Help? I need to change these habits. I need someone to hold my hand and show me the way!

p.s. I am unable to add the SHS logo or check my spelling toinght. and it's getting late, so I will leave this as is. To see other SHS click The Lazy Organizer on my sidebar. I'd post the link here but it's already taken me so long to get this one post up!

11 comments:

Blake and Lilly's Momma said...

Hey Ter... my suggestion would be to use the KISS philosophy... it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid (no offense intended). You take baby steps. Instead of trying to force yourself into an ENTIRE bedtime routine, start with the very first, small step... this day/ week/ month I will brush my teeth before bed... etc. Write down exactly what you want your final routine to be, and then break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.

For grocery shopping I have a clipboard... I do the grocery list (the one I emailed you) right before I leave... I circle what we need, x what we don't, and make notes (under veggies I write WHAT veggies I need)... then I clip the list, coupons, store sale ads, etc on the clipboard and walk out the door. Again... start with small steps... I do my menus a month at a time and shop once a month... and it took lots of trial and error to get it right :) I did it in little tiny steps :)

Think of it like building a house. You don't just grab all the stuff and plunk it down and it's a house. You have to gather the materials, the tools, the plans and then one brick at a time you build the house.

Good luck... I know you can do it. Give yourself a reward too... if you remember the grocery list then you get a special treat while you're out (a favorite candy bar? a favorite drink? etc)

Jo

Rebecca said...

I'm sorry to hear about what you are struggling with. ((hugs)) and prayers for you and hubby.

As far as the habits go, don't be too hard on yourself. It takes time to develop these things. I think Jo had some great ideas about keeping it simple and starting with small steps. Something that might help with your house cleaning schedule is this. Write a list with each of the rooms/spaces in the house. You can keep the check list on the fridge and as the week goes on check off 1-3 spaces (depending on the size of your house) each day. Or if you want to be sure each space gets full attention once a week you can assign spaces to specific days. Also, I think it's really important to allow yourself an 'off' day that you don't do more than necessary. It's easy to get burnt out and overwhelmed.

The Lazy Organizer said...

I'm sorry about your computer problems!

I hate shopping too. The cost of fresh fruits and vegetables especially drives me crazy even though I know we need them. I'm getting better at my shopping and my new meal planning habit is helping. Just keep trying and it will work for you too!

Meredith said...

I agree with everything the previous commentors said and I used to feel just like you...you sound overwhelmed, am I right? I found FlyLady and her routines and babysteps have really changed me and the way I do things for the better. Best of all, she does it all for free! Please check her out at FlyLady.net. Also, through her I found SavingDinner.com. I hated menu planning but now it is all done for me, including the shopping list! Now this does cost money, but not too much. If you have any questions, e-mail me and I'd be happy to gush about all I've learned! mhodgson72@hotmail.com Good Luck!

O said...

It's a bummer not being good at something RIGHT AWAY, isn't it? I hate that. Especially with something that seems like it should be a no-brainer, like shopping. But I have to say the Menu Planning Monday meme really helped me get my act together week by week. Writing it down, even when it seemed like a fantasy, gave me a chance to see how I wanted to eat and also a blueprint in the 4pm panic. It also helped me shop better, eventually, but it took a while of reading what I thought I was going to eat, and figuring out what I actually ate. Next step for me is lunches (breakfast is easy, the boys only eat cold cereal and only five brands at that!). But I find myself dreading making lunches and I feel like the planning will help with that.
Don't try to be perfect; and if you don't do what you wrote you would, see if that tips you off as to what's not working! For example, I realized that I could really only do one "recipe" per dinner...so if the main meal required multiple steps or reading something from a cookbook, the sides had better be easy, like roasted carrots and buttered noodles, or baked potatoes and creamed spinach from the freezer. I'm no Rachael Ray, creating three different dishes in 30 minutes.
Hope that helps...good luck!

Amber said...

I'm sorry that your computer has been so slow!

I think Jo offered some really great tips. My advice would be not to be so hard on yourself. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days for habits to form, this stuff takes time and you can't just jump right in and be successful at it, although I know it would be nice!

I hate grocery shopping too. In fact, I dread it every week and I think that I was alot like you (not wanting to spend the money on groceries) I would go to the store by a minimal amount of items and then when I didn't have enough food in the house, instead of reattempting the grocery shopping, I would eat out.

Do you see the problem there? Yeah, the money I spent eating out could have been used for my grocery bill.

Now, I go to the grocery store with a plan, which helps so much, but also I by things that could be used for multiple meals such as plenty of veggies. That way, nothing goes bad and I don't have to feel badly about "wasting" stuff.

Good luck with your habits and be patient with yourself!

Jen said...

I strongly dislike grocery shopping.

This doesn't cover shopping, but have you seen flylady.net? She has lots of good ideas for creating housework routines.

Ter said...

HI Everyone,

I have been following Fly Lady, but it doesn't really work for me as I have to work and I haven't been able to adjust her schedule to fit mine.

Plus I clean all day at work with my current job, when I get home I just want to shower and get into clean clothes and not think about cleaning, but then I can't stand my messy house! I am really bad at setting routines, I haveb een trying since I was 9 yrs old to set routines for myself, yes, you heard that, since I was NINE! At the beginning of the school year I would write out my morning schedule but it never lasted more than a few days!

as for shopping, I just can't bring myself to spend money. I'm better at not going out to eat, we rarely do that anymore, but I freak out about spending money,

and not to mention I keep forgetting the shopping lists!

I also find that I buy alot of ingredients but if I want something quick right away there's nothing. I do not like processed food, so there's no tv dinners or carboard pizza in my house.

ugh!

Totallyscrappy said...

When you said you have been trying to stay on a schedule since you were 9... we bonded. Me too! I crave a scheduled, disciplined existence. But I've never been able to make it happen. One day I realized I do have a schedule, it just is a bit more "roughed in" then the strict one I crave. I try to have the important things covered at the same times (bedtime is at 8, baths are before bed and after supper, etc.) and then we do what we can. Because, ulitmately I have to live here.
Recently I took the things I like from Flylady and the things I like from motivatedmoms.com and came up with my own schedule. I'll admit that I probably had more fun making my little charts and schedules than I've had cleaning, but I did do some deep cleaning in the bathrooms and I feel pretty proud of myself!
Keeping your husband in my prayers...

Allison said...

heh, I'm horrible in the grocery store. I wander for hours. It can take me 3 hours to shop. I like to look at everything. I usually remember my list, but usually forget to write stuff on it.

i also hate the weeks when I have to buy the "expensive" stuff, like laundry detergent and flour and other "$10" items.

Its funny, since Danica got older, I have no problem buying "real" cheese, but I hate buying cheese slices cause of the price. i'm funny that way. :-)

Jen Sue Wild said...

Huggs Teri..
Ihave a hard time at the grocery store as well. My tummy hurts just seeing all th high priced food.
Then I hate getting the bill..