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About Me

My photo
I am a bereaved mother and wife. I began this blog to help me look for the "good things" in life after my daughter, "Babybear", died in July 2005. Three years later, her daddy, my husband, "Bear", died in November 2008. (You'll find a link to their stories on my blog) And now, as difficult as it is, I continue to look for the good things in my life as I learn my new normal with my pup, "Furrybear", at my side. And the angels on my shoulder...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

What Do I Say?

Okay so earlier this year, spur of the moment, at the recommendation and encouragement of several people, I applied to go to Photography School. I was interviewed, they looked at my portfolio and then I was accepted on condition that (a) I get student loans and (b) I can get a disability loan to pay for interpreter due to my hearing loss.

Well, first, I was told I would get an official letter of acceptance in the mail by June 1st. So I waited, June 1st came and went and I finally emailed them and said that I hadn't gotten the letter yet. Then they finally emailed me back and said I don't need it. By this time it is July and so I am trying to apply for student loans (by the way, our student loans are via provincial government) but the online application isn't working for some reason. It keeps telling me that I do not exist. So frustrating. I phoned a few times and left messages the first 2 times, but the last time I didn't even get a machine. No one called me back. Finally a couple weeks ago my brother phoned for me on the hearing side and got ahold of someone but they told him to have me fax them and give them permission to "change my user id" so I faxed them and I never heard back from them. I tried again thinking well maybe they will just fix it and not email me back. So i tried again 2 times. nothing.

So I get a paper copy of the application, it takes longer for paper copies to be processed, but I emailed the photo school to tell them that I am sending a paper copy to student loans, sorry for the delay.

And they (school) email me back 3 days later and said that it's taking too long, and that maybe I should consider coming another year.

Well, you know, I'm so disappointed. I wasn't really sure I wanted to go but I just lost my husband recently and my daughter not that long ago, I'm not really sure I want to do ANYTHING right now but I know I wanted to do this more than I want to go back to work, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, this was meant to be, because I didn't set out for this, it came to me. (the website was sent to me by a friend)

So anyway I have not emailed the school back, I don't know what to say. I don't think I will go next year or any other year. It feels to me as if this was my only chance. My last ditch effort to make my life even a little bit worthwhile.

I have spent the last couple days kind of in a fog since getting that email, because, once again, my life is up in the air and I don't know what to do or where to go now.


amber said...

That sucks, Ter! I was really hoping it would work out for you.

Don't give up though. When one door closes, another opens. :)

BTW, it's against the law for them to discriminate

Ter said...

hey amber, the school isn't discriminating far as I can tell. They did ask me to come next year but I don't think I will. I just don't know what to say to them at this point. It's not my fault that the stupid government doesn't get back to me so I can officially apply for my student loans.

Ali said...

O Ter, what a bummer! Please don't be discouraged, maybe you can be a self taught photographer? I know a couple people who have gone that way, maybe you could try it out? Though I know being in an actual class might be more encouraging, but you never know! It sucks that people can't get it together enough to be able to do their jobs efficiently! And FYI the verification word for this comment is PESSED as in PESSED OFF! lol

AnnaMarie said...

Oh Ter this sucks! You were so excited to go to photography school; this is a huge disappointment.

If you are not going this year I don't think you should give up on it for the future. You don't even have to attend that school - perhaps there is somewhere better to go!

With the beautiful photos you take you should definitely consider attending photography school. If you have a year to wait perhaps you can focus on taking photos for yourself this year and build an even better portfolio.

I am sorry you received such disappointing and frustrating news.

amber said...

I just think that it's odd that they would say "try again next year"

I've never heard of a school saying something like that, but that's just me.

~~Mel~~ said...

You're right Ter, it isn't your fault and I would tell the school just that!

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Ugg!!!! This sucks!!!!!
I'm sorry Ter.

I know what you mean, sort of. I felt like this when the masters program I had planned on going to didn't accept me. I was like 'now what do I do!?' I just don't have the ambition to find a new program and apply and interview...

Shea said...

I'm sorry Ter. I wouldn't give up though.

Jenners said...

Their response seems very strange to me. And I wouldn't give up on the idea entirely ... you sounded a bit ambivalent about it anyway. Perhaps you can just look for an easy part-time job to ease you back into things. It might not be a good idea to take on too much right now while you are still pretty fragile.

Jeanne said...


I agree that the school's response seems a bit odd. I'm sorry that it didn't work out as you had hoped.

If you want to pursue photography, I'm guessing (?) maybe there are other schools you might be able to attend.

Or, as a previous commenter suggested, there are professional photographers who are self-taught.

If you continue to build up your portfolio, perhaps word of mouth might get you some opportunities... and they may lead to others.

I'm sorry that you're so upset.

I also agree that easing into things gradually is a good idea. As Jenners pointed out, an easy part time job might help you ease back into things.

It might give you some (helpful) structure to your days and you might even meet new people you like at work.

I am sorry about all the frustration you went through about photography school. Hang in there!!


kimberlee said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out this year.